One moment

Familie. Eines der wichtigsten Dinge im Leben. Man ist für den jeweils anderen da und wenn auch nur einer um HIlfe bittet, werden sie alle da sein. Doch manchmal kommt es zum Bruch…
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Family. It’s one of the most important things in life. You’re there for one another. If someone calls for help, they’ll be there. But sometimes there’s a break…

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One moment

I saw you out of the corner of my eyes.
You were there, pretending not to see me. But our gaze met and we both knew, that we’ve seen each other.
You walked away, vanishing between the other faces, vanishing into anonymity. There you’ll be secure, forever a victim. There’ll be no need for you to be strong. No need to look me in the eye and repeat the lies you’ve told everyone in the family, friends. You spoke to everyone, but never to me.

The hand in my hand, my friend’s, tries to comfort me. I feel his present and it gives me strength. Although I continue looking at the blank spot where I’ve seen you.

You were older than the last time, your hairs white. I believe I saw every wrinkle in your face. Your clear grey eyes, empty.
I remember you.

We sat together in the garden, the sun was shining and it was warm. I still hear the birds, see the dog lingering on a blanket. We knitted together, you showed me how to make cables, how to knit in different colours. I was so proud.
You made me pudding with strawberries.
This day was all I ever wanted from you. A little bit of your time, your smile and your knowledge, passed from the older generation to the younger.
Never your money, your presents, your pity.

My grandmother, when did you alter, did you change your mind and decided to abandonned us?
You were my family, the most important thing in my life.
You were strength and reliability, my guide.
I pretended it didn’t hurt me, but I’m like you. We both know that we are a big lie.

I ignore the questions of my friend, ignore the crowd around me.
It’s too late, I already know it as I begin to run. I battle my way through the crowd, ignoring the shouts and curses of strangers, only seeing the spot where you were. It’s not important if you are there or not. It’s only the running after the past which matters.

You are long gone and I know, that there’ll be no revelation, no reconciliation.

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